Defamer Australia

A Bad Pedicure Can Be Really Depressing

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:08:15 +1000

It was no surprise that in the wake of her former lawyer speaking out and stating he made up her defence about the dicey baggage handlers (cheers, Triple J's Hack!) Australia's most famous boogie board enthusiast Schapelle Corby suffered a case of the sadpants. Tragically, not even a perfectly timed pedicure could cheer her up. Australian drug trafficker Schapelle Corby has suffered a relapse after venturing out of her hospital ward to go to a beauty salon yesterday, doctors say. Corby, who is serving 20 years for drug smuggling, is being treated at a Bali hospital for depression but yesterday left her ward under the watch of armed guards to have her hair done and get a pedicure. The visit caused a media storm and Corby tried to hide her face as she left the salon, once she realised a swarm of reporters was waiting outside. Sanglah Hospital doctor Lely Setyawati today said Corby's condition had deteriorated after her outing "... because it's been blown up, she's been chased by many people, she's been afraid". "The effect is ... her condition is back to zero."
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Setyawati said doctors had been preparing to send Corby back to Kerobokan prison, but said that would now be delayed. "We were preparing her to strengthen her so that she would be able to face her punishment, but now we need a longer time," she said
Perhaps an additional facial and some aromatherapy would help matters? She said she did not know in advance that Corby planned to visit the salon yesterday, but it would have been a positive experience for her.
WELL YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT SO. Poor Schapelle :(

YouTube Clip Of The Day

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:08:16 +1000

Accompanying this interesting article regarding recent accusations directed toward Coldplay that the mega-selling British band ripped off the song 'Viva La Vida' from a group called Creaky Boards is the following YouTube clip created by the disgruntled frontman of the aforementioned ensemble. Impressive mo, but what are your thoughts when it comes to the plagiarism complaint?

And The 'Headline Of The Decade' Award Goes To...

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:15:46 +1000

Congratulations to all involved at the news.com.au front page who came up with this most excellent headline to announce the tale of Mark Philippoussis' surfing mishap at Bell's Beach (his board was snapped by a freak wave and he had to seek refuge in a cave, apparently - it's true, I am trying not to laugh as I picture that): You should all be very proud of yourselves. As should "Damo of Summer Bay", from the comments on said story, who sums up the general reaction to the tale with the witty and incisive: "I bet the Scud's girlfriend knew exactly how to treat those bruises and cuts for the Scud. She probably got all kitted up in her nurses uniform when they got home. Yeah Scud Yeah!" Yeah, Scud, yeah, indeed.

ATO And IRS Slip An Extra Paul Hogan Tax Pursuit On The Barbie

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:00:06 +1000

You've probably heard that the ATO has been chasing Paul Hogan over alleged tax liabilities over the past few months; well, now they've gotten the IRS onboard to attempt to back Hoges into a corner and make him lie down by using the Ridgy Didge hand signal waved in front of his face. If, like me, "tax time" involves crying whilst sitting in the middle of a mountain of scrunched up receipts, most of the jargon will be just that, but all you really need to know is that Hogan plans to fight back. Presumably with a large hunting knife.

Hogan is the most high-profile target of the $300 million Operation Wickenby investigation into tax fraud and evasion, set up three years ago. Details of several offshore trusts and companies holding $40 million in proceeds from films such as Crocodile Dundee were leaked to the media in 2005, but no action has been taken against Hogan, his artistic collaborator John Cornell or their financial adviser, Tony Stewart, all of whom have denied any wrongdoing. It is not known why the IRS, acting on behalf of the Australian tax office, issued the summonses in May to City National Bank, HSBC and the Union Bank of California demanding 9 1/2 years' worth of "account opening documents, signature cards, monthly statements, copies of canceled checks (front and back), deposit slips and all other deposit or withdrawal documents for all transactions that exceed $50,000". Hogan's Australian-based lawyer said yesterday his client regarded the actions by the ATO as an unlawful attempt to obtain irrelevant material.

Thus endeth Defamer Australia's serious journalism portion of the day's proceedings. Well, now that we've got that out of the way, all things considered, I think now is as good a time as any to enjoy this re-cut version of the Crocodile Dundee trailer:

Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Incredibly, Amy Took Drugs In Rehab

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:24:44 +1000

From the "surprising absolutely no one except Drew Barrymore's character in 50 First Dates" file comes the latest Amy Winehouse "news": Amy apparently took drugs while she was at rehab. And I say "news", because, well, did anyone really think she'd make it through rehab without getting a fix? If so, LOL at you!

She said: 'I've never been to rehab - I mean, done it properly. I'm young, and I'm in love, and I get my nuts off sometimes.' 'To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young. I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb.'

Wow, that was so incredibly surprising, it was like M. Night Shyamalan got together with David Copperfield and organised a surprise birthday for me, and then told me I'd won the Lottery and have cancer! Incidentally, if you would prefer to read a piece by someone who hasn't spent the last year suffering Amy Winehouse-related déjà vu Amy Winehouse-related déjà vu, Claire Hoffman's Rolling Stone piece, Up All Night With Amy Winehouse, is compelling reading.

Happy Fourth On A Stick!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 10:15:00 +1000

· Happy Fourth of July everyone! Here's some Midwest Americana goodness, deep-fried and skewered, the way it's served up best. [YouTube]
· Bozo is dead. Long live Bozo! [AP]
· "I'm Coyote Shivers: Rapist, kidnapper, and ex-husband of NCIS star Pauley Perrette. And this is my show." [starcrazytruestory]
· These are men who look like Zach Braff. Some more than others. [menwholooklikezachbraff.blogspot.com]
· Bert and Ernie get krunked up in this bitch. [YouTube]

The Defamer Guide To The Whole Madonna / A-Rod / Lenny Kravitz Situation

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:45:00 +1000

If you've looked at the Internet at all this past week, you've probably gleaned that there's something going on with Madonna, Guy Ritchie, A-Rod and, most recently, Lenny Kravitz. A lot has happened in a very short time and, quite possibly, many of you haven't been able to keep up. But don't feel ashamed, that's what we're here for! Just read our handy dandy guide to the action after the jump and you'll have plenty to talk about at your 4th of July BBQ.

Starlet: 'Neighbours' Makes Me Feel Fat. Or Something.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:40:02 +1000

It's always great when a new star or starlet joins the cast of a show like Home & Away or, in this case, Neighbours, because the PR department gets them to do a load of totally pointless interviews, and we reap all the benefits. So it is with new Ramsay Street regular Margot Robbie (apparently pictured chilling out in the Crawfords' bathrooms), who says that being on the soap made her more self-conscious. Or something like that:

"I used to read magazines and think, 'Why would those girls turn anorexic?' Sure, they would have a bit of pressure, but I didn't think it could be too bad," Robbie said. "But you don't understand what it's like on the outside. You are under heaps of pressure and when you get cast, everyone is stick-thin and you think, 'I need to be like that'. "When you look at movies the lead girl is always gorgeous and thin. There is a stereotype that you need to look a certain way and when you get in the business you really feel the pressure."

Yes, and when you look at Neighbours the girls are always gorgeous and thin, and the boys are Toadfish Rebecchi and Paul Robinson. Hang on, something's amiss here!

Pulling Out Of Live Appearances: It's The Jodhi Meares Way

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:26:20 +1000

The spectre of a sacking (and horrible nightmares featuring Charlotte Dawson beating her to an Astra Award before setting fire to her dress, leaving her waking up sweating and in tears) looms larger and larger in Jodhi Meares' mind today, no doubt, as it has been suggested that her Australia's Next Top Model finalé no-show was not the first in her career.

Confidential can reveal that the former bikini babe forced producers of Sky News Business Channel program In Business to find replacement talent after she pulled out of an appearance slated to run during Australian Fashion Week in May. Meares, who sold her swimwear label Tigerlily to surfwear company Billabong in December, was to have been the celebrity guest interview during the half hour program before she pulled out, citing sickness.

Well, to be honest, that sounds a bit like Confidential is clutching at straws, BUT, I question whether Meares has ever been that great a host of the model franchise, live finale or no live finale. She frequently reads from notes at elimination, often seems uncomfortable, fights with the other judges in a petulant manner, and plays favourites (Steph H, Demelza) to the nth degree. So, we'll say it again: CHARLOTTE. DAWSON.

In Honour Of His 46th, Tom Cruise In His Birthday Suit!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:25:00 +1000

We'd be remiss if we let the day slip by without offering some fond birthday wishes to not-quite-born-on-the-Fourth-of-July Tom Cruise, who turns 46-intense-years-old today. In his honour, we offer a revisiting of one of his most memorable, if uncharacteristic, screen turns, as a masquerade-orgy-seeking physician in Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. In this trailer (homemade or Euro-cut, we're not sure), Cruise nakedly seduces his then-wife and naked-co-star, Naked Kidman. Happy birthday, Tom!

Daniel Radcliffe Reveals Harry Potter's Secret Heroin Habit

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:19:46 +1000

At the rate the Harry Potter movies have been getting scarier and more grown-up, I admit I have been wondering what they'll be like by the end of the series - more violence? Extreme horror? SEX?? - and, indeed, what classification they'll cop. So, thank goodness for Daniel Radcliffe, who has revealed that the next installment will be just like... Trainspotting?!

The 18-year-old actor, who has played teen wizard Harry in all five of the films, insists the sixth instalment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, will have drug metaphors and sexual references similar to the 1996 film about Scottish heroin addicts. "There is a fair amount of sexual energy and there are some drug parallels. We have a couple of Trainspotting moments," Radcliffe told Empire magazine.

Yes, that's very good, Daniel *pats him on the head* Not having read any of the books beyond a cursory glance at Wikipedia, I can speak with no authority as to whether this is an appropriate treatment of Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince. But what I will say is WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!? Thanks.

Kate Ritchie's Retirement From Acting Possibly Not Necessarily A 'Retirement'

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:11:32 +1000

When Kate "Sally Fletcher" Ritchie left the cast of Home & Away after what seemed like five million years (approximately), it looked as though that was it for the former child actress; radio was her new frontier and all the Summer Bay fans best suck it up! Well, perhaps said suckage can be put on hold - Ritchie is rumoured to be returning to the world of television, to appear in the remake of The Young Doctors, which has perplexingly dropped the "The":

Described as "Grey's Anatomy meets The Secret Life of Us", the series is currently in development with production company Fremantle Media and Channel 9, but is not likely to be seen on screens until next year. While an official approach is yet to have been made to Ritchie's agent, both Fremantle and Nine are eager to swoop on the viewer favourite after she ended her 20-year association with Seven soap Home and Away. "The program is still in very early days of scripting and character development, but we think Kate is fantastic and would love to have her on the network at some stage," a Nine spokeswoman told Confidential.

Yes, you read that right - "Grey's Anatomy meets Secret Life Of Us". You know, I can - for some reason - handle the whole remake fever when it comes to multiplex fare, but there's something about television remakes that is scraping the bottom of the "scraping the bottom of the barrel" barrel. But if this is the new trend then I'd like to suggest that someone remakes Chances.

PETA Would Rather Tinker With Sharon Stone's Brain Than Wear Fur

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:00:00 +1000

It's no secret that Sharon Stone is batshit crazy. But while most people laugh and make snarky comments (like us), the folks at PETA have decided to actually do something about it. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals organisation is offering Ms. Stone one free brain scan in an effort to improve her compassion. And compassion is something that she has been lacking lately. Not only did she suggest that those terrible earthquakes in China were the result of bad karma for how they treat Tibet, she also frequently wears fur. See how PETA thinks they can help her after the jump.

Even The Lure Of Christie Brinkley In The Next Room Won't Prevent This Man From Jerking Off To Internet Porn

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:40:00 +1000

When fighting a highly publicized custody battle with the modelling industry's reigning Good Girl Next Door, it's probably not the smartest move to give Al Goldstein and Larry Flynt a run for their money as dirtiest old man. But that's just what pervy adulterer Peter Cook did yesterday while testifying against original Uptown Girl Christie Brinkley. Providing us with a handy preview of Rob Lowe's inevitable court date fighting for his straight-laced honour, the hottie architect let loose a series of confessions involving adorably vintage tales of web cam masturbation, office sex, and hush money hidden behind paintings. Read on for the sordid admissions that caused Cook to reach for a hankie and cry jurors a river.

Busty Heart's Got Six-Pack-Flattening, 48-Double-G Talent

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:10:00 +1000

America's Got Talent last night featured the truly unique talents of a one Miss Busty Heart—a beloved mainstay on the stripper circuit for decades now, according to her must-visit website—whose act consists of slamming the two bean-bag chairs hanging from her chest onto a variety of rigid objects, thusly inflicting unspeakable damage. In doing so, she managed to shock the studio audience—including Jerry Springer, who you'd figure would have seen an act like this by now. It was all fun and games until she insisted on outdoing herself with a grand finale the judges wouldn't soon forget; unfortunately, she had never tested the "railroad spike through a cinder block" trick before, resulting in an instant gusher that coated the horrified studio audience in a fine misting of 22-year-old silicone filler.

Matt Damon's Weight Gain Puts Him In The Running For 'Sexiest Schlub Alive'

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:45:00 +1000

Formerly a featured member of the Rapid Downsize club currently bowing down to newly slim star Colin Farrell, Matt Damon has notably chunked up for his role in the true story of an FBI whistleblower in Steven Soderbergh's The Informant. And despite the part's fun-filled requirements that he stop going to the gym and live on sweet potato pancakes with crème fraîche, Damon is reportedly feeling more than a bit self-conscious about his new frame. While Ben Affleck has taken the opportunity to relive his glory days as a funny sidekick, lashing out at Damon by nailing one-liners like "the man has to buy two seats on an airplane!", chubby Matt is fearing the month of November, when People announces his successor as "Sexiest Man Alive."

'Rachael Ray Show' Overrun By Litigious Aneroxics

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:20:00 +1000

In what will easily go down as the Most Insane Legal Filing of the Long Weekend, a male employee at The Rachael Ray Show has named producer CBS and several other staffers in a legal filing seeking $1.5 million in damages for anorexia discrimination. From TMZ:

Seth MacFarlane Takes First Step Towards Alienating His Stoner Frat Boy Audience

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:50:00 +1000

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid writer/producer in Hollywood and, as of today, he's also one of the most THC-free. Recently, MacFarlane announced that he will no longer be smoking marijuana because it makes him too paranoid. "One of the last times I was stoned, I was convinced that I would die unless I kept moving my body. So I sat there, baked, waving my arms around like a crazy person," he explains.

Bravo TV Provides A Historic Solution To All Your Anal Lubricant Needs

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:25:00 +1000

It's no secret that Bravo is a gay friendly network. They've got Kathy Griffin, Project Runway (at least for a little while longer) and shows about people getting their hair did. And who could forget about their great big sexy bear, Mr. Tom Colicchio? But if you happened to tune into Bravo on Monday night, you may have bore witness to an historic milestone: The first ever gay personal lubricant ad to appear on television! Check out the video after the jump.

Ellen Page Hoping Endeavor Can Make Her More Famous

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:05:00 +1000

· In a defection sure to cause at least one WMA partner to disembowel their assistant, then themselves, with the nearest People's Choice Award, Ellen Page has left the agency for Endeavor's Ariesque embrace. All-purpose power-lesbian Kelly Bush will continue to oversee management and publicity duties. [Variety]
· Apparently there's a shortage of prestige material so far for the 2008 Oscar race, but that could change just as soon as the Academy drastically alters the rules to give Camp Rock full eligibility in all categories. [Variety]

Finish Off What's Left Of Corey Haim With 'Corey Vs. Corey' Virtual Bloodsport

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:30:00 +1000

As your mind has likely already checked out for the long weekend, and is far away gnawing on a corndog and oohing and aahing the dazzling detonations dancing across your TV screen courtesy of XBox 360's Fireworks Tycoon, we thought we'd tax it as little as possible today. Perfect solution: A&E's Corey Vs. Corey, an online game in which the original bromance partners—now mortal enemies—fight each other in a sort of Mortal-Flameout Kombat.

John Mayer's Career Vs. John Mayer's Love Life: Does One Not Exist Without The Other?

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:05:00 +1000

Where is Jennifer Aniston? We've been asking ourselves that question for what feels like three whole days now. And we're apparently not the only ones. At a gig in Milwaukee last night, boyfriend John Mayer was pouring his heart into those Grammy-winning sobfests he calls a repertoire when the usual "I want your body!" and "Are you sure you're not gay!" yelps from fans turned from coos to catty. Reports People, "Several fans were overheard yelling 'Where's Jennifer?' and 'Bring Jen Out!' in between songs." Though Mayer got his revenge by boring the crowd to tears with a volatile hate rant against the Internet and all its "vulgar" ways, we couldn't help wondering how long the oh-so-serious musician will allow yet another tabloid-y romance interfere with his craft. Or is his craft only sustainable with the help of all these tabloid-y romances?

The Law of Diminishing Mike Myers Comedy Returns

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:45:00 +1000

It occurred to us here at Defamer HQ that The Love Guru—by all accounts, the most execrable film sediment to coat our cultural shores in eons—marks something of an Unfunniness Benchmark for its dwarfhandling star, Mike Myers. Which got us a-thinking: Was he ever funny? What if we could map the relative comedic trajectory of his collected oeuvre over time and space, in a scientifically controlled environment?

Lindsay Lohan Celebrates Another Year Of Just Barely Keeping It Together

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:50:00 +1000

America isn't the only one having a birthday this week. Last night, Lindsay Lohan — everyone's favourite freckle-faced, raspy-voiced, psychologically-damaged, naked-picture-taking, gossip-column-filling, potential-half-sister-having, secretly-lesbian actress — turned 22 years old. It's truly mind boggling to imagine she's that young. Lohan's got so many miles of bad road behind her that I pegged her for at least 35. But no, 22— only one year past the legal drinking age which she's certainly never adhered to. So, how did Linds celebrate this momentous occasion? By throwing an 80's-prom-themed bash at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel, of course. Check in after the jump for more party deets than you can shake a stick at.

The Farmer Wants A People Magazine Centrefold

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:05:50 +1000

On Monday night I watched the greatest hour of Australian television broadcast in this country's history - The Farmer Wants A Wife. Having missed the last series, I wasn't really familiar with the show, but I somehow stumbled upon the premiere of the latest series and was hooked from the get go. What's the appeal, you ask? Oh, I don't know. Rugged country boys, desperate city girls, charming scenery, amazing one liners... call me crazy, but it all clicked for me. I haven't been this happy since I accidentally flicked through channels and found late night repeats of Playing It Straight a month or two ago. And although I had thought the moment bachelor James asked a potential ladyfriend "So what's your most favourite tucker then?" could be the highlight of the show's time on our television screens this year, it emerges that one of the country lad lovin' women appearing on the show once appeared in the hallowed pages of People magazine, as well as starring on a saucy website! Booyah! Monique, one of farmer Nick Brown's chosen five on Channel 9's reality show The Farmer Wants A Wife, features on an X-rated pornographic website, MX is reporting today. The pictures, taken this year, show the Melbourne resident wearing only runners and knee pads in a bicycle-themed montage.
A sexy tribute to BMX Bandits? I approve! Monique, 21, who has a boyfriend, also featured in a shoot for adult magazine People three years ago. Fremantle Media, which produces the reality program, said Monique listed her occupation as "student'' on her application.
Wait, are they insinuating that posing for x-rated photos isn't typical "student" behaviour? Hmmm. You learn something new every day. Expect plenty of idiotic commentary on The Farmer Wants A Wife in the coming weeks... until I get bored.

This Just In: Alan Jones Has Prostate Cancer

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:14:53 +1000

Shock jock Alan Jones has just announced to the media that he has prostate cancer. The talkback king said he would take time off work to undergo surgery, but he would return to his breakfast slot on Sydney radio station 2GB when he had recovered. Jones said he had been diagnosed with the cancer after undergoing a biopsy and would require an operation in coming weeks. He would be off air for several weeks while recovering, he said. "The prospect of full recovery is very significant," he told media gathered at the Macquarie Radio studios in Sydney.
Elderly bigots across Sydney will no doubt be relieved to hear that. In all seriousness though - cancer sucks so I wish him all the best during this difficult time. "Cancer sucks". Wow. Eloquent, huh? Why the Cancer Council haven't asked me to join their marketing team is beyond my comprehension. Still, you know what I mean. Get well soon, Alan, so I can happily go back to bashing my head against a wall when listening to you on air!

ANTM Third-Placegetter Sam Would Like To Let Demelza Know That She Has Been Beaten To The 'I Got A Modelling Campaign' Crown

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:01:17 +1000

Briefly in the last flurry of post-show Australia's Next Top Model news, Melbourne girl and second runner-up Samantha Downie, who many were surprised to see booted in favour of Demelza, has already signed to Priscillas (i.e. the agency that takes on the winner) and booked her first campaign, presumably before Demelza has even had her post-party Berocca. From the Herald Sun:

The Melbourne Uni student emerged yesterday as the dark horse of the contest after it was revealed model agent Priscilla Leighton Clarke signed her weeks before the program ended. Downie is the face of designer Gail Elliott's brand, Little Joe. Elliott, who befriended Cindy Crawford, knows what makes a top model. "She told me I was her favourite, and not to worry about coming third because my career was going to go just as far," Downie cooed.

Well, just as far as what - a hurried Vogue shoot, maybe a Just Jeans catalogue, and then a spot on Where Are They Now? in ten years time? Don't sell yourself so short, Sam.

Finally, A Superhero American For The Rest Of Us

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:35:00 +1000

· P. Diddy couldn't be more excited about Hancock: the first legitimately mainstream black superhero! (Don't point out the drunken loutishness—he's happy as a motherfucker and we'd like him to stay that way.) [PaulScheer.com]
· "Angelina Jolie is way too thin to be an action hero!" says whoever ABCNews.com could find to offer a quote corroborating their Angelina Jolie-is-too-thin-to-be-an-action-hero story. [ABCNews.com]
· Take a tour of the insanely huge Brooklyn mansion Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are leaving, and the insanely expensive TriBeCa loft they're moving into. [ONTD, The Real Estalker]
· Wesley Snipes can travel to London and Bangkok to shoot two movies while his Totally Insane Tax Avoidance Trial of the Century appeals are processed. [Yahoo/AP]
· Here's photo evidence of Brett Ratner holding one of his five Big Penises. [VMan]

Why Tom Cruise Is To Blame For Katie Holmes' Box Office Failure On Broadway

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:05:00 +1000

It didn't take long for Katie Holmes to prove she cannot compare to Nicole Kidman when it comes to Broadway appeal. Months before she even sets foot on stage, Tom Cruise's replacement wife is striking out at the box office, managing to sell only $1 million worth of advance tickets to her September theatrical effort in All My Sons. That may sound like a decent take in the world of steadily declining Broadway sales, but it doesn't even come close to Kidman's number, which was $4 million. So why the distant gap in interest between seeing Holmes hack through Arthur Miller and Kidman feign sex live? It's not just a matter of full-frontal cartwheels...

In Honour of The 4th of July, Megan Fox Wins Her Independence From Brian Austin Green

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:45:00 +1000

I remember the first time I heard about Megan Fox. "Man, this chick has it all," I thought to myself. She's hot, not a terrible actress, uh... did I mention hot? In fact there was only one problem with her. Her fiancé was a douchebag. And not just any douchebag, but Brian Austin Green! The whole B.A.G. affair was such an affront to my sensibilities that it tainted Megan Fox as a whole. She couldn't be that great if she was into a dude who not only devirginized Donna on 90210 but also released a terrible rap album entitled One Stop Carnival. But now that's all changed, thanks to this little tidbit of information: Megan Fox has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green! [cue Handel's Messiah, ring church bells, light fireworks]

Jodhi Meares And The Mystery Of The Host Who Doesn't Actually Want To Host

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:37:28 +1000

Apart from the obvious outcry over Demelza "Bully" Reveley taking out the crown, the biggest hoo haa following the Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4 finalé has been about Jodhi Meares' no show as the host of the finale. It's a bit of a moot point, as Charlotte Dawson proved (again) that she's the better, funnier and more capable host, but really, if Meares is getting the mad bucks to be the face of Australia's Next Top Model, surely she can take some Rescue Remedy and bring herself to face a live audience? Apparently smarting from the backlash, Meares has had a rep talk to the press, because evidently she's afraid of that, too.

"From the beginning Jodhi never agreed to do a live show of that scale," Ali Hainsworth said. "It needs to be put out in the open because to throw something like that on someone wasn't entirely fair."

Uhh, that may be the case, but a casual viewing of either Cycles 1 and 2 of AusNTM or, like, every single Cycle of America's Next Top Model would reveal the obvious point that the grand final is always "a live show of that scale". Those friendly folk over at the Daily Telegraph have helpfully assembled a few YouTube highlights of Jodhi's "work" at last year's grand final. And seeing as our "C'mon Tiny Mouth" campaign for Alex to win the gong didn't go so well, we'll be doing nothing similar to try to get Dawson the hosting slot full-time next year in case we jinx her, but let it be known that I reckon Charlotte Dawson is the bomb shit.

Naomi Watts Is Kinda, Sort Of, Pretty Much Apparently Pregnant (Again)

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:21:35 +1000

"Our" Naomi Watts is apparently expecting another child with her partner Liev Schreiber - I say "apparently" because the ever reliable Us Weekly has the "exclusive", and any "exclusive" that doesn't "exclusively" involve the words coming "exclusively" out of Naomi Watts' mouth is to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt. So, "exclusively", here's the word from the mag:

Us Weekly has the "exclusive", saying Naomi Watts, 39, is four months pregnant. The couple's first child, Alexander "Sasha" Pete, is 11 months old. When she was pregnant last year with her first child, her partner, Schreiber, 40, didn't confirm the news until he casually told Conan O'Brien, "Yes, I'm going to be a dad." Naomi's rep told Us she doesn't comment on her client's personal life.

See? Your story is on shaky ground when even Confidential calls it an "exclusive" (i.e. with the sarcastic Clerks-esque inverted commas). So, Defamer Australia tentatively congratulates the happy family, with the small print on the congratulations reading "These warm-hearted congratulations become null and void if Us Weekly's exclusive turns out to be total rubbish". It's only fair, really.

Tatum O'Neal Ticketed $95 For Trying To Spend Twice That On Crack

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:20:00 +1000

Rescued from the precipice by the courageous members of NYPD's Anti 'Former Child Stars Trying To Score in a Park From Some Homeless Dude ' Vice Squad, Tatum O'Neal has finally learned what her sentence will be for trying to drown her Scottie-losing sorrows in the arms of her former lover, crack. Brace yourselves. This is not pretty:

With Brenda Back And Donna Out, Which '90210' Alums Are Officially Returning To The Peach Pit?

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:00:00 +1000

The upcoming remake of Beverly Hills: 90210 is continuing the process of putting its out-of-work alumni back in business. Spurned by producers for just being her normal bratty self back in 1994, Shannen Doherty is reportedly in talks to join Jennie Garth and return the characters that launched each of them into the zeitgeist back in the early `90s. But despite Shannen and Jennie's overenthusiastic acknowledgment that they've got nothing better to do, not every cast member is so eager to pull the trigger and willingly euthanize their own careers. Which stars are only contributing to the remake in off-screen roles, and which are phoning in Hell Nos from Italy as they shoot far more important Hallmark Channel movies, after the jump.

Jumpstart Your Acting Career By Profiting Off The Death Of Tim Russert!

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:35:00 +1000

What took Hollywood so long? Tim Russert died on June 13th and they're only just now announcing plans to make a movie about his life? On July 2nd? Come on, people, that's 19 days. Used to be a movie like that would get announced under a week after the tragedy. Summer must be making everyone lazy.

Get Psyched For The Most Drug-Taking, Sex-Having Harry Potter Yet

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:10:00 +1000

Daniel Radcliffe has got to be sick of playing Harry Potter already because he's starting to talk all kinds of crazy talk about the upcoming 6th installment (feels more like the 100th) of the series, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, to make it sound more exciting. In a recent interview with Empire Magazine, Radcliffe went so far as to say, "There's a fair amount of sexual energy and drug parallels. We have a couple of Trainspotting moments."

Can Tara Reid Just Walk Into Hyde For Her Reality Show Cameras Without Having To Be Humiliated By An Asian Paparazzo? Thanks.

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:50:00 +1000

While most of her employment opportunities of late have come from Down Under in the capacity of a celebrity shot-girl for hire (do they swirl down your throat in the opposite direction, we wonder?), Tara Reid has apparently also been keeping busy on our own shores, gearing up for an exciting new reality show. (We see no mention of it on her IMDb page, so we'll assume the first season of Tarafied: Celebrity Foreclosure is a staight-to-web venture.) In the above TMZ segment, one of the scripted verité sequences requires the frequently botched actress to enter formerly fashionable Hollywood social establishment Hyde. One of TMZ's stanchion-shackled documentarians then helpfully offered some improvised crowd noise—which leads, for some reason, to the frustrated crew repeatedly pointing out his Asian heritage: first disparagingly, then, as a means of bridging the paparazzo/Z-list-entourage divide. Oh, let's just let TMZ's Great and Powerful Harv explain it. Roll it, Harv!

Heath Ledger Oscar Buzz Starts... Yesterday!

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:47:31 +1000

The buzz on the streets has been that Heath Ledger would deserve a posthumous Oscar for his work as The Joker in Christopher Nolan's latest Batman flick, The Dark Knight, but it's only been recently that critics and assorted media have actually seen the film - and now the buzz is even stronger. In particular Peter Travers' Rolling Stone review, which is pretty much the biggest rave I've ever read (and Travers isn't usually prone to hyperbole); on top of that, industry notables like Kevin Smith are also starting to join the call.

Travers said Ledger "is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker". "If there's a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976's Network, sign me up. "Miles from Jack Nicholson's broadly funny take on the role in Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, Ledger takes the role to the shadows, where even what's comic is hardly a relief."

Peter Finch (also AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! - and, for those of you who have FOR SHAME not seen Network, is the shouting/pointing dude Defamer Australia uses in our television 'industry' stories) has so far been the only posthumous Oscar winner (others have been nominated) and beat Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver), Giancarlo Giannini (Seven Beauties), William Holden (Network) and Sylvester Stallone (Rocky) for the gong.

Happy OBE Day, Kylie!

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:41:06 +1000

Cheery news today for Our Kylie with news that the pop princess, unable to capture the hearts of the Americans but still firmly clutched to the collective bosoms of the Brits, is receiving an OBE from the Queen today. Kylie, along with TV personality Michael Parkinson and Lord of the Rings star Ian McKellen are among a glittering list of film and sports stars, business leaders and ordinary citizens named in the Queen's New Year's Honours list. The 40-year-old singing sensation still calls Australia home, but said England was her "adopted" country. "I feel deeply touched to be acknowledged by the UK, my adopted home, in this way," she said earlier this year, adding the honour was a surprise. "This last year I have felt so much love and support from everyone as I took greater steps back into the public domain."
Awww, my icy heart is melting as I type. How will Kylie celebrate such a momentous occasion in her life? My money's on a bender with Natalie Imbruglia if the past is anything to go by.

America Gripped By 'I Survived A Really Gross Japanese Breakfast' Fever!

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:55:00 +1000

Not only is the all-American cast of I Survived A Japanese Game Show required to insert themselves weekly into a variety of life-sized pachinko machines, but the premise of the show is such that they are deprived of the familiar comforts of their homeland. That leads to all manner of East-West culture-shocks—the kinds that until now could only be adequately captured by a Sofia Coppola movie—and proverbial hilarity ensues. In the clip above, chaperone Mama San prepares a Japanese breakfast feast for her fabulous-cash-and-prizes-loving houseguests. Trussville native Justin dives into the adventurous culinary proceedings as if it were a bonus-round Velcro wall; sometimes, however, even the most open-minded and -stomached of intentions can be sidelined by the garnish byproduct of a carp's Brazilian.